The First Three
3. RUSH LIMBAUGH
Old Rush will always be among the top three in any such list as this one I make. He goes from #1 in 2011 to #3 in 2012, not because he wasn’t a bigger asshole than ever (he was definitely bigger) but because this year he had so damned much competition.
Limbaugh, well known bon vivant, seditionist, probable pedophile and general all around TFA… which stands for Total F***ing Asshole if you care… managed to once again exceed himself in just simple fricking boorishness last year, managing to come across as even a poorer excuse for a man than he did in 2011 if you can believe this is possible.
Break for homey little anecdote: My 10 year old grandson came in as I was formatting the pic of shown here and asked me what that was. I said, “Son, that’s a Rush Limbaugh talkin’ on the radio.”. Grandboy said, “Grandpa, that looks like a hippo’s butt.”. I said, “Yes, now that you mention it he does, doesn’t he? He used to just look like a horse’s ass but he gained a few pounds and I had to find a new picture of him”. Grandson just gave me that look his grandma used to give me when she thought I was pulling her leg and went back to playing MInecraft. It’s wonderful to be able to help mold young minds
Rush spent 2012 trotting out the same old same old, no longer even bothering to stop and apply to apply new lipstick to his porcine renderings because he knows that his core audience of dildoheads are incapable of recognizing the fact that today’s litany of racist, misogynistic bullshit is exactly the same as yesterday’s and yesterday’s is exactly the same as the day before. Only the victims change as he drools and pukes his way through his three hour daily shitfest taking phony calls from paid actors pretending to be just as outraged by the Limbaugh Triviality of the Day as El Puerco himself pretends to be. I’m not even going to list any highlights because in the depths that Limbaugh talks from, light doesn’t penetrate so there’s no such thing as a highlight. You’d have to call them lowlights, I guess but anyway, to a bottom feeder like Rush, at all comes out of the same ooze anyway..
2. LINDSEY GRAHAM
Unlike Rush, Senator Lindsey Graham (R – In The Closet) did have a highlight or two. My favorite is the one at left wherein he openly admits that the Republican agenda is to get people pissed off enough to vote against their own interests. Fear and Anger are the tools of the right wing and obviously Senator Graham has no qualms about saying so. He’s also managed to virtually amalgamate himself with our next subject Senator John McCain (R – Dementia) in some kind of contest as to who can come up with the biggest bucket of bullshit to throw at decent folks just trying to do a job for the people but stumbling over assholes like himself who wantonly lay themselves down across the road to progress. Damn, that almost sounded poetic, dinnit? Anyway, while the not so good senator made numerous contributions to the RW Assholery Database, it was the one quoted in the pic that stands out in in my memory.
1. JOHN McCAIN
Last but not least we have “Mr. Genuine War Hero” about which nothing disparaging may ever be said. EVER!
F**k that. This miserable little septuagenarian weasel has enough highlights from his war on the human race to fill a book all by themselves. The malignant little dwarf has never done anything right but marry rich and he only got that right one time out of two.
I’ll give old John credit for one thing though… the f**king balls it takes this guy to have the kind of hubris he does after pretty much a life time of failure are those of which legends often arise. Got an appointment to the Naval Academy because his daddy and granddaddy were high ranking officers and proceeded to “gentleman’s C” his way through the four years winding up fourth from the bottom of a class of just under 500.
He then proceeded to directly destroy 4 or 5 of the taxpayers’ flying machines during the course of a career often described as distinguished mainly by conduct just short of unbecoming an officer and… depending on the version of the story you happen to read… may have destroyed dozens more thanks to the major role he may have played in the fire and explosion aboard the Forrestal (we’re never going to know for sure either way) before having his career cut short by exposing himself to a half dozen or so SAM batteries for some idiotic reason by, according to the reports I’ve read, flying low and slow back over a target he had previously bombed and already made egress from,
He got his rep as a “hero” by spending the next five+ years as a POW at the notorious Hanoi Hilton and according to several others who were there at the same time he pretty much continued in the same vein as he had throughout his entire career. Managed to come home a hero though, bought himself… or his wife bought him… an election and he’s never looked back (or down) since.
As far as highlights of this doddering old fart’s asininity, we suffer here from not too few but from far too many from which to try to make a choice. I personally think his absolute most blinding “highlight” was not something he said but something he didn’t say which of course refers his refusal to step up and talk about the Newtown child massacre after taking a half mil or so from the gun lobbies over the course of his senate career. As far as I know, he still hasn’t said a goddamn word about it. If we have to have something he actually said in 2012, it would probably be just about anything he’s drooled onto his bib in regard to Benghazi non-situation, and especially anything from the hatchet job he and the little ferret faced rodent above did on Susan Rice.
There are a ton of others we’ll be getting to in coming posts but those are the three for today. All of them abject failures as human beings but also millionaires either in spite or because of that failure. That’s what it takes to succeed in this shiny new version of America we’ve got coming our way… a talent for mediocrity and a willingness to… for money… take it all the way to outright hate and contempt for 99% of the American people. If that’s what you want for yourselves and your kids and grandkids, just keep on listening to and/or voting for suckers like these guys. They’ll be only too happy to help you find exactly what you’re looking for.